In the current climate of uncertainty and economic gloom it is little wonder that we suppose that only the brightest or strongest survive. Yet research continues to show that it is not how intelligent we are but how able we are to cope with circumstances and our response to them, especially when things go wrong. Our ability to change or modify our behaviour can set us out from the crowd. When things get tough, survival can depend more on EQ, emotional quotient, than IQ, and emotional intelligence can be the way to achieving this. No place is this more important at the moment than in the workplace.
Daniel Goleman, in his book ‘Emotional Intelligence’ maintains that our emotions play a significant role in individual success. Developing aptitudes such as self-awareness, emotion control, empathy, self-motivation and social-interaction and improving in each of these areas, helps people to excel, their relationships to succeed and to achieve their best in many areas.
In his book on ‘Working with Emotional Intelligence’ Goleman and others present research that shows the singlemost important determinant of effective leadership is Emotional Intelligence. Ever more businesses are now beginning to embrace this once-thought-of quirky ‘soft-skill’ as the barometer for effective leadership & change
Five simple skills identify the areas that most influence ‘Emotional Intelligence’.
Self-awareness encourages us to recognise our feelings, to gain insight into what causes them and then to be able to respond with certainty to these feelings in a constructive way. Knowing ourselves, our strengths and limitations enables us to maintain logical and realistic expectations. A failure in these expectations can be handled in a more positive and appropriate way.
Managing our own emotions shows the importance of being able to handle feelings appropriately, to shake off anxiety, gloom or anger and deal with failure when it happens. Consequently, we are better able to bounce back from these setbacks and upsets and with the ability to ‘soothe’ ourselves through these feelings, resourcefully.
Perhaps one the most important aspects of emotional intelligence is ‘emotional self-control’; avoiding impulsiveness and developing a high-frustration tolerance. In its most negative of contexts, lack of emotional self-control is evident in many psychological issues, from anger, anxiety and stress, to being over-weight, depressed and can be at the core of many relationship issues.
Recognising emotions in others or empathy is the ability to be tuned in to others’ needs and an understanding of what the other person or other people are going though. An appreciation of what is going on in their life allows us to see the effects that we have on other people and the consequences of our actions.
At work this means honing our ‘people-skills’, being able to recognise the undercurrents and the political dimensions created by our decisions and to better service our colleagues and clients. An absence of empathy and understanding can lead to selfishness of spirit and a disregard of the impact of our actions and decisions on others. With our clients it means being able to develop rapport more quickly and to understand their story & needs
Self-motivation is often the most difficult to achieve effectively, yet it allows us tochannelour emotions into a specific and realistic goal, through using our initiative, optimism, creativity and perseverance. Having achieved this, we are usually said to be ‘in the flow’. Famous psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi talks about the ‘Flow Zone’ and shows that this is the place where performance happens, rather than in the ‘Panic Zone’ or ‘Drone Zone’ where people are stuck.
Social interaction and managing that ‘day-to-day’ communication between us and our partners, our children and those we work with, allows us to be able to positively control and effect the emotions in others. Greater emotional intelligence enables us to significantly improve our interpersonal effectiveness on all levels, to inspire, develop and improve ourselves and others and at the same time handle the conflict that this can create.
In relationships, a greater degree of ‘emotional intelligence’ helps us to weather the storms that life, work and family bring on an increasingly regular basis. The pressures of juggling work and family, finances and life-quality, emotions and physical health, can all take their toll.
Our Emotional Quotient or EQ is not innate but is a learned capability that can and must be worked on, improved and new competencies learned. Through Emotional Intelligence, we are better able to make sense of who we are, how we interact and to navigate our way, appropriately and effectively, around the people and the events we encounter every day. Emotional Intelligence or EQ can be the route to better self-understanding, to a more effective relationship with others and to coping well in today’s unpredictable world.
So remember, Emotional Intelligence or EI is not just for softies. EI makes you stand out from the crowd and makes you more effective in your business and in your life. Think about it.