Since my last article lots of people have asked what strategies can be used at work and at home to develop the skill of High Frustration-Tolerance (HFT) or Delayed Gratification; skills that help us all to deal with our emotions more resourcefully and develop more helpful behaviours and improve our performance.
High Frustration-Tolerance at Work
- Open and answer emails one hour in the morning and one hour in the afternoon
- Climb the stairs to your office rather than take the elevator
- Listen three times as much as talking in a meeting
- Re-read your emails before sending or responding
- Develop patience with colleagues. Walk to their office and talk face-to-face.
- Practice self-reflection. Write a diary.
- Take your lunch-break
- Take all your vacation time
- And here’s a challenge. Try ‘dial-up’ internet again. Remember how long it took to download one page? Now that is patience!
High Frustration-Tolerance at Home
- Hand-write a letter and post it, rather than send it by email
- Iron a basket of clothes
- Cook a meal from scratch rather than eat a ready-made meal
- Prepare & peel vegetables rather than buy ready-prepared packs
- Take three times as long to eat a meal – eat mindfully
- Book tickets for the cinema for a week’s time, rather than today
- Walk to the shops rather than drive
- Avoid answering your workphone & emails at home
- Write a diary and reflect on your behaviour
- Sit in a room without television, music or a book. Notice your breathing. Focus on your breath.
Behavioural Change takes time. Behavioural Change happens before Emotional Change. So, you notice the change in your behaviour before you feel the change! And for improved performance, both behavioural change and emotional change needs to happen.
The road to success is paved with stepping stones and all of these changes in behaviour are deeper and more permanent if achieved in gradual steps rather than by extremes (Process vs Outcome in Goal Visualisation; Pham & Taylor 1999).
So, appreciate the ‘Cloudy Days’ – this allows you to make the most of the sunshine when it comes!
The Power of Partnership