One of the most difficult things I have found and indeed many of my clients find, is to deal with the pervasive influence of difficult people in our lives. This may be people who still feature in our lives or people who once featured, but although they may have moved on, we haven’t for whatever reason. This can be colleagues, old-friends, clients and even family- virtually anyone.
Often it’s something that requires a measure of closure something more formal than just wondering why it all went very wrong. Well here’s an exercise that I have used myself and with clients to great effect. So why not organise a Virtual Dinner Party and use that brilliant motivational & change concept of visualisation.
Here goes.
The Guests
Who features in your life that you find difficult to deal with?
Who perhaps once featured in your life as a positive influence and now is a negative distraction?
Who do you need to say goodbye to and who do you want to keep in your life?
The Invitation
Invite those people to dinner who you want to make a decision on whether they stay in your life.
You may decide to keep a guest in your life and others you may wish to say goodbye to.
The Ambiance
Visualise the room where you plan to have the dinner; closing your eyes may help.
Hold the dinner in a safe place for you. Make the room safe, comfortable and your place.
Decide whether you want to sit or stand. Place yourself at the head of the table and feel grounded.
The Menu
Have name-cards for all your guests and seat them accordingly.
Sit those guests that you find most difficult & anxiety-provoking furthest away from you.
Address each guest one by one individually and tell them why you invited them to this dinner.
One by one, tell each guest how you feel about them and how you feel when they are difficult.
Thank them individually for the positive role that they may once have played in your life.
For those guests that you want out of your life, say goodbye to them and ask them to leave.
For those that you would like to remain, tell them your conditions for them staying in your life.
Enjoy dinner with your remaining guests.
The Future
Write a brief note to each of the remaining guests thanking them & make a positive statement about the future.
Review your Guest List on a regular basis and organise another dinner if necessary.
Click here to download Exercise Form
Click here to download Dinner Seating Plan Form
Cognitions . The Power of Partnership.
© Cognitions 2013